I know that some women experience a variety of emotions postpartum. I am generally an emotional person, so depending on who the person is making me feel whatever "emotion" at the moment, my feelings can be more intense or I can easily let go. Well, a couple of days ago, it was my mom who was paying a visit with my dad and a couple of other relatives. I know what she said was in joking and should have been taken lightly. But I am still sensitive and the amount of weight that I gained with this fifth pregnancy, I am ultra sensitive about my weight and how I look. In some instances, I can care less. But I would hope that at least my mom, also a mother of five, would be more kind. I only gave birth six days ago!
On the way out, as they were leaving and everyone was saying their goodbyes, she turns to me, and touches my belly with both hands and says, "Is there another baby in there?" or some shit like that. Fortunately, I didn't snap at her. At least there is that. But that was totally insensitive of her to say that! She has no clue of course. She's just being her. I still can't deny the fact that it hurt my feelings and made me upset. I gained an additional 43 pounds with this pregnancy. That's huge! I know I'll be able to bounce back into shape though. So, in that sense I am not worried and for all the people who judge me or look at my physical self, just wait and in 6-8 months, I'll be in the best shape I've ever been in.
So, please, for people out there who have loved ones who just delivered a baby, do me a favor and tell those ladies how beautiful they look! Don't say anything to them about their bellies or their weight. Tell them that they glow and that they make a beautiful new mommy! It's nicer, kinder, and should be true. New motherhood is a wonderful thing!
Another thing, if you are going to visit a family who has other children PLUS a newborn baby, my opinion is that you should not expect to be served. In fact, YOU as the visitor should be offering to provide a meal or to extend your helping hand. I know my husband is extremely helpful. He is a wonderful husband, son-in-law, and SO MUCH MORE! So, just because he's home and is here to cook or clean, he still has a lot of work to do himself with recovering mommy and newborn baby at home. Our visitors actually made us work a little more. What is that about? It's just frustrating. So, ordering take out for dinner is what we did and it minimized work on us. However, there was still table set up and clean up , dish washing, floor sweeping, etc. It would have been nice for the "guests" to say..."Oh, you sit down! Why are you still standing and walking around? You need to heal. Sit down and we'll clean up for you!" But that didn't happen. Oh well. What can you do?
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